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The whiskey was not a gentleman's drink. He'd chosen precisely so- there would be no mistaking his intent. This was not for flavor, this was antiseptic.
The honest liquid crashed down his throat, burning a collision course with the vile bile rising to meet it. He winced, but only in the manliest of ways, he would assure you. Not that it mattered. Not that any of it did.

It all came down to Gotye. Motherfucking Gotye, the pop poet of the now. That artistic little bastard with his abominable word truths and pipeline to what was happening. That song, with it's words written with intent and, now, sung with whiskey breath, was truth and introspection and shades of gray. And it stung.

She was pretty, you see, but not perfect. She reminded him a good bit of his car, actually- once out of his range, but now with enough miles under the hood that not only should she be attainable, but he wouldn't look out of place with the keys. Still a goer, though, that one is. Perfect weight distribution and handling, decent efficiency and all the luxury appointments. Heck, no one can believe the model year, either, as she's kind of timeless.

Pardon the author. He just realized e.e. cummings is rolling over in his grave. He'll find a less offensive metaphor now.

She was smart and funny and open. Slightly dark, afraid to be still and with the right amount of baggage- enough to be interesting (and flawed! it's like a door ding that drops the asking price!) but not so much that TLC couldn't fix most, with the rest written off as giving her "character". And, oh boy, a looker. If you saw her at a traffic light, you'd glance, trust me. The chassis has amazing lines, the headlights...

Dammit, sorry. That damn metaphor will not stop, as much as the author wishes it would.

Back in a moment. More whiskey.


Back to Gotye. As many times as he has heard it, the author knows you have too.

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end

Right. From. His. Brain. The last part, especially, as a summation of 10 years of overly abusive self analysis. You can and do get addicted to martyrdom. It's a mental trap, assigning importance to what you do while removing any chance of succeeding at it. But that first part was dangerous, too.


They'd had dinner and drinks and laughs. Mostly the latter two, two be truthful. They'd been spending time together lately, as he was free and she was available. The usual things had been said, the you-understand-me's and the I-always-feel-better-with-you's. The why-can't-more-people-be-as-awesome-as-us' and the you-make-me-feel-safe's. Then he said it, vodka fueled and honest.

"Would you like to date me?"

"We'll talk about that later... I need sleep."


So, the Gotye, and why this isn't, truthfully, ALL his fault. She needed a ride, providing the perfect timing for talk. He jumped at the chance, looking forward to resolution. The radio was on, providing a cover noise while he built to the question. Then, Gotye.

"I love this song- my friend just emailed it to me!"

"Me,too" he says. "It's been rattling in my brain for weeks now."

"Yeah- Michelle thought I'd really like it. It's amazing how everyone thinks it's about just a bad break up, but if you read the lyrics closely, it's really about two people who tried to force something that wasn't there. Like, they'd have been better off just leaving it alone..."

He started to think of all the possible ways to argue the interpretation, when he realized the thing about art- it doesn't always show you what the artist intended, but it always shows you what you are looking to see.

And that was the death of the conversation, and another little bit of him.


The whiskey burned, the less than subtle hint of kerosene reminding him of why he was here. He was here because, as smart as he can be, he knows no other way.

The author wishes to apologize, as certain details here are manufactured. Primarily the fact that he is out of whiskey and drinking rum. Everything else fucking happened.

How Tweet It Is...

  • 10:39 @socialmediabham Bad Religion. Their "21st Century Digital Boy" should resonate with you... #
  • 10:40 @_Lola_Nicole_ I only made it 5 minutes into Up before the saddies hit- I'll watch it when in a better mood ;) #
  • 15:18 @stephsmith definitely :) I wait a while between watching seasons so I can forget the emotional strings they kept using ;) #
  • 15:18 @EatBHM Nothing awkward at all :P #
  • 16:35 Hey Burt's Bees- it would be nice if you had labelled your chapstick as lip stick if it was going to make me look like a dock whore. #
  • 16:41 @patrickwestcott Wanna see your NEXT birthday??? :P #
  • 16:45 @MarkWaid I think you just broke @warrenellis ' heart... #
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How Tweet It Is...

  • 01:09 Day 1 of Sidewalk Scrambled Jam complete, as is principal videography. Ingesting / converting overnight, editing tomorrow. Never again ;) #
  • 01:17 @MeshellLeslie of course you're at Above... harass Mark for me :) #
  • 10:35 @EatBHM every year @sidewalkfilm does a scramble- short film made entirely in 48 hours. This year it's videos for local musicians... #
  • 12:42 @EatBHM ahahaha... arrangements can be made :P #
  • 12:57 @StephOfOz published instead of punished... actually that's drunk appropriate :) #
  • 14:25 just explained to the to-go lady at PF Changs that I didn't want the brown rice because my friend was a ricist. She got it, bless her... #
  • 15:57 Holy Shnikeys... we're rendering. Team BTP pulls one out! Take that, @sidewalkfilm #
  • 16:25 @juliebenz Uhm... orange? ;) #
  • 16:34 RT @nerdist: "Well if you can't get laid in Spain tonight then....you...have...poor sex skills... #literalconditionals" #
  • 21:04 @JezebelTheGreat re: polka dots- when did you start with the undies? :P #
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How Tweet It Is...

  • 04:14 @EatBHM ahahaha... component wise, you've got sugar and acid from the meat of the kq, you've got oil from the zest and the chance of whole #
  • 04:17 @EatBHM sliced, raw & cooked preps. I'm thinking wilted spinach (sesame oil, sesame seeds, s&p) cooled & tossed w/ thin slices of kq. #
  • 04:21 @EatBHM next I'm feeling pork loin as the protein, grilled w/ pepper, garlic, salt and oo on the outside. sauce made of grilled kq & spices. #
  • 04:26 @EatBHM dessert- old standby. cook kq down w/ honey & sweet wine for sauce. wrap cream cheese & dried figs in wonton wrapper & deep fry. #
  • 04:29 @EatBHM forgot an appetizer- charred kumquat & chile salsa w/ tomatoes, red onions, garlic, lime juice & rice wine vinegar, served w/ chips #
  • 04:30 @shakeprotein good to know! #
  • 04:32 @adamsbaldwin are you joking or is he really a jerk? #
  • 04:49 @EatBHM I'm here to serve ;P #
  • 05:09 @EatBHM I wake up randomly, then check the web until I doze back off... why are *you* up? :P #
  • 17:18 @EatBHM I'm wondering how @Jon_Lewis hasn't gotten you yet... maybe he's just not lucky ;) #
  • 17:54 @EatBHM Oh, you're still teasing me about lunch, eh? It's not my fault you look different in you *special* outfit... #2canplaythisgame #
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How Tweet It Is...

  • 17:00 @EatBHM Ahh... accidental tweet hiatus ;) I've been lurking, but not interacting much... no real reason, just busy :) How's you? #
  • 18:11 @buffyagan "California" is what I call my- wait, what? #
  • 21:16 the local TV guy in me is feeling a li'l vindicated by SportsCenter botching their stupidly complicated show open. #
  • 22:26 @Bama_GLori turn grapes into sweet & sour sauce- cook 'em down with a li'l honey, some vinegar & ginger. red pepper / sriracha 4 spice. #
  • 22:29 @BadassAvery then don't- you'll never be happy until you let yourself be... #
  • 22:32 @Bama_GLori or a simple grill on the chicken & put it over a salad- olives, spinach, goat cheese, sliced grapes and a balsamic vinnagrette. #
  • 22:34 @Bama_GLori anytime- i love food challenges :) #
  • 22:35 @ebertchicago and a chance to make $ for Boys & Girls Clubs and his charitable foundation... #
  • 22:59 @EatBHM a friend of mine used to give me weekly challenges- the blood orange week was my favorite :) #
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How Tweet It Is...

  • 01:23 @nanckj insomnia and I are doing shots while talking about you. Be scared. #

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How Tweet It Is...

  • 16:05 @lostplum The Doc saying you have the 'giner of a heroin junkie. Either your hygiene is lacking or you're supermodel skinny! #
  • 16:11 @lostplum for some reason, I'm really happy that was the way this went ;P and you're welcome! #
  • 22:36 "excuse me, i'm going to go rape a urinal." "wait, which one?" "the one that will be crying later." - I have the worst friends. #
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How Tweet It Is...

  • 00:26 @sleeptech81 dude, "up" should've been earlier in that tweet, unless you're limber... #
  • 15:51 @paulblacklab Those Live in the X Lounge albums were awesome... I still have that one in particular. #
  • 23:24 @JezebelTheGreat I... I could be that guy. The one who looks into your browneye first thing. I... I make that pledge... :P #
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How Tweet It Is...

  • 01:59 @MissMalloy I was thinking about some Stoli- innappropriate, perhaps? :P #
  • 14:59 @EatBHM the finger test is the best way. well, not the best for the hair on my arms, but the best for getting it right ;) #
  • 15:38 RT @speakerwiggin: "I am having a serious craving for five guys. I think I will go fill my emptiness with their meat." Intentional??? #
  • 15:39 @EatBHM ;P #
  • 18:48 @JezebelTheGreat You're reading him wrong. He's using his nostril as a vagina proxy- he's merely showing technique! #
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How Tweet It Is...

  • 17:59 @MeshellLeslie mojiiiiiiiiiiitos... jeebus, those get me in trouble. #

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